Romance Cooks

Frog’s Eye Salad – Olivia Brynn


Frog Eyed Salad (Frog’s Eye or Frog Eyes Salad depending on region I guess) is a taste of summer that’s especially good in the middle of the Holiday season. I always tell the kids that Acini de Pepe is Italian for "Eyes of Frog". To have a little bit of fun with this post though, I’m going to rename Frog’s Eye Salad. Let’s call it Oral Climax, and here’s what you’ll need for your own experience:

1/2 package of Acini de Pepe macaroni

One container (6 oz) vanilla yogurt

One can (5 oz) sweetened condensed milk

1/2 bag of miniature marshmallows

Two large cans of chunked pineapple

One large can of mandarin oranges

One large can of fruit salad (heavy cherries for color)

Optional – Flaked coconut to taste

Turn up the heat. Get the water nice and hot. Slowly, gently, coax it to a rolling boil. Just as it’s about to blow, introduce a steady string of the tiny beads. Allow the moisture so soak into the balls until they’re tender and heavy with flavor. This takes about ten minutes. Slowly cool down and gather your energy for round two.

Inside one soft but firm cylinder is an abundance of creamy vanilla goodness. Some prefer to go after the prize with zeal, and others gently warm the sides of the container with their hands so the contents slide out in more of a sigh. Add the sticky milk—as it dribbles steadily into the container—and mix well. With care, allow the contents of the marshmallow bag to tumble into a large bowl to soak into the creamy treat. Using a spoon (or your fingers, if you don’t mind getting sticky with the milky mixture) massage the cream onto the sweet marshmallows. Feel free to lick your fingers one at a time, sucking all that white creaminess with a moan.

The sweet and tangy flavors are sealed inside the hard round tubes. It’s up to you if you’d like to release them manually or with an electric device. Either way, take care not to allow teeth to damage the tender rim. When the delicious flavors inside are drained, you’ll feel a sense of relief.

Mark all those juicy flavors with the creamy milky deliciousness, and you’ve come to the climax. By now you’re most likely ready to relax overnight as your Ambrosia matures in the refrigerator.

And for a much abbreviated and more PG version: Soooo Easy Frog Eyed Salad

Cook the Acini de Pepe (8-10 min) Drain and cool.

Mix the yogurt, sweetened condensed milk and marshmallows in a large bowl. Add the drained fruit, then add the Acini de Pepe. It’s ready to eat immediately, but it tastes better after overnight refrigeration when the marshmallows soak up the moisture and expand.



Carter Hope would do just about anything for his best friend. When Mario gets the bright idea to buy a POS house together to flip, Carter swears he’s out of his mind.

Unfortunately, Mario Gutierrez is hard to resist. After one weird conversation at a bar, and one meaningful look across their empty beer bottles, Carter isn’t sure he’s not the one flipping for his friend.

They’re both tops, so to make this work, one will have to give in and roll over. Carter will have to come to terms with his past before he can look to a future with his best friend.

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