Goodbye to my favorite girl
This post is for me. Not you. Read it or don’t read it. I’ve spent the last two days crying and maybe this will help me stop. Every time I think I can’t possibly put out another tear, here comes a flood of them.
This is Morgan.
In this picture, she’d just turned 11. We chose her from the Tampa Humane Society in late February 2000, the day before closing on our first house. She was a birthday present for me from my new husband. At the time we had three ferrets, so we chose to get a puppy who wouldn’t mind sharing the house with the carpetsharks. Morgan was this rotund ball of fur, shy around people and other dogs. Didn’t much care for the ferrets.
I have so many good memories of this dog, more than I can possibly ever put here. I will always remember putting Morgan in the front seat of my Nissan Sentra on a Saturday morning. She was my copilot as I ran errands around the city, usually consisting of making payments to various utility companies, or cashing a check. (The people at Bank of America always gave her a treat.) Afterward, as a reward for being good, I’d take her to the dog park where she was quite content to run like a fiend.
She’s so much my dog it isn’t even funny. She was never really affectionate, and when she was, it was on her terms. She’d let you know when it was okay to pet her, thank you very much. If you tried before then, she’d turn up her nose at you and walk away. She also had horrible Spring allergies. At one point I was sharing my loratidine with her. And this dog hated the heat. You can’t blame her with all that black fur. She’d stick her head out of the dog door, assess the situation and nine times out of ten, determine it was just too damned hot for her to be taking her precious self outside.
In our first house, Morgan always knew when I wasn’t feeling well and would curl up next to me on the bed or the futon. As she grew older, the times she would actually sleep with me grew farther apart, but I relished each of them. Some of my favorite times were when I would be reading a book or writing on my laptop, and Morgan would choose to rest her head on my feet. Within minutes, my feet would be roasting from her body heat, but you couldn’t get me to move to save the world.
Morgan had a death wish. She used to chase down sixteen wheelers and motorcycles, and although she was trained in just about every other way, nothing I would do or say would convince her these vehicles which could squash her in no time weren’t her enemies. Heaven forbid you tried to jog past her. Some part of her was a herder, and she was serious about her job.
This dog was also very serious about her food. Serious. There were only two things Morgan got mean over: anyone who messed with her feet or anyone who messed with her food. She was a good ten pounds overweight as a result. One time, I had left a half-eaten package of peanut butter crackers in my purse and unthinking, had left that purse on the floor of our house. I sat down at the computer as I usually do and after a few minutes, Morgan followed me in. She dropped the package of crackers at my feet and looked up at me expectantly. I was so tickled that she hadn’t eaten them, I gave them to her anyway. (So yeah, I contributed to that weight gain… I took her on daily walks too!)
In the eleven years we were blessed with Morgan, she saved me from bashing in my husband’s face with a cast iron pan when I was insanely angry with him, instead allowing me to take her on long walks. She went on at least six road trips with us to various parts of the state. We lived in five different houses/apartments in six years and Morgan endured them all. She was a part of a family which included the three ferrets mentioned earlier and is now leaving behind another dog and a cat. She saw me through three degrees, and all of the studying/late nights that went along with gathering each of them. She was also my buddy through eleven years of insomnia. No matter what time I woke up, wandering the house, she was there by my side. She didn’t always look happy about it. lol. But she was there. I became an author and Morgan was the first animal featured in one of my stories. She also became one of my pen names.
On September 15th, my husband noticed some swelling in Morgan’s neck. I had to leave that day for business out of town and had him take her to the vet despite the fact I prefer to be there for any of her appointments. My husband called to tell me the vet thought she had lymphoma and she was too old for treatment. We did try a few chemical treatments, but she didn’t respond. This past weekend, I was out of town again for business and my husband texted me that things weren’t looking good. I prayed she would last long enough for me to come home and spend some time with her. I agonized over whether I should go in to work, afraid that if I did, I would miss out on her last moments. From the moment I got home, work became of distant importance and I laid down next to my girl. My husband and I stayed up the entire night, trying to make her comfortable. Morgan grew too weak to even stand and she spent the night moaning. As terrible as it sounds, I knew I’d rather see her dead than in pain.
This morning we helped Morgan cross the Rainbow Bridge. And I know she’s on the other side waiting for me.
I will always love and miss you my girl.
Morgan
January 2000-October 24, 2011

Beautiful, beautiful tribute. Makes me cry but I do firmly believe she IS waiting for you, full of energy and love. HUGS.
Dee,
What a beautiful post and I’m sitting hear typing through my tears to tell you how much I grieve with you for Morgan. I lost my best girl (yorkiepoo), Lucy this past May and being single, no children, she was my child and my happiness in coming home every day. She adored me, and I her. Like you, I adopted Lucy from the shelter one day when I was home from work and they featured her on the noon news. I immediately took off, lunch forgotten, and was the first person to arrive to see her and I knew she was mine. I tell everyone that I was not looking for her, she found me. She battled pancreatitis for years and it developed into cushings disease her last year. She had an attack and went into shock then a coma in May and I faced the hardest decision of my life in having to help her leave me for the rainbow bridge. She was a gift from God for me for 11 wonderful years like your Morgan. Words can’t help the pain I know you are feeling but you will be in my thoughts and prayers in the coming days. I order and read parts of the book Good Grief:Finding Peace After Pet Loss. It was a partial band-aid and had some good parts. I have faith that we will be with them again. They brought us the greatest happiness so as the Rev. Billy Graham says, they have to be in Heaven with us.
Hug and much love to you and your husband.
Amy
“I think God will have prepared everything for our perfect happiness (in Heaven). If it takes my dog being there, I believe he’ll be there.-Reverend Billy Graham”
Dee I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend (that’s what she sounds like she was). I completely understand this loss as I lost mine just 3 years ago and still think of my Jeese (13 yr old golden retriever) often. Please know you are in my thoughts. Xoxo
Sleep gently, Morgan. x
Dee, I’m so sorry. Love and hugs.
I’m so sorry, Dee. Hugs.
Oh, Dee. I am so very sorry. I had hoped it wouldn’t end like that, but I’m glad you made it home in time to be with her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
<3<3
Y’all have made me teary-eyed all over again, but in the best way. Thank you for your sympathy.
Dee, I’m sorry for the loss to your family. I’m sure Morgan will be missed and remembered for years to come. Even after 15 years, I still miss the black cat I had as a child. It’s never easy.
Whosoever we loved in life, lives forever in our hearts. No one can take away the happy memories, but time can fade some of the sadness.
I often reflect on the gift I was given, the furry companions I’ve loved and lost. But that statement above says it all. Our hearts are big enough to hold all the love, and so long as that love is there, no one and nothing is ever truly lost to us. They are still with us. Always. Simply because real love is eternal. Blessed be, Dee. ((hugs))
I feel your pain and loss from one who has lost a dog much like yours. My thoughts are with you, Dee.
I’m SO SORRY, Dee. Our pets become like family. We lost our dog, Ginger, two years ago, and it still hurts just as much today. *HUGS*