Gripes

Why I stopped following you…

Twitter peeps, take note! If you’re going to tweet, for the love of God, don’t do the following!

  1. Use every hastag under the sun to follow everything you say. #hashtag #sun #tweet #opinion #IsOnlyGoingToAnnoyMeAndMakeMeStopFollowingYou
  2. Retweet horrific news from CNN or other news media. Seriously, if I wanted to read about children and puppies being tortured, I’ll follow the news myself. Every once in a while something that is *vital* to my existence, such as say, the zombie apocalypse is okay. Sending me the weather alerts for Boise, ID is not.
  3. Stalk me. And I wish I were kidding, but some people have a bad habit of coming across as a little too smarmy and “I’m your number one fan” on Twitter. And I love my fans, but there are one or two of you who scare the crap out of me.
  4. Ask me to retweet almost everything you tweet. You already have over 1,000 followers. I don’t. Why in the name of heaven am I going to retweet a plea asking people to come to your blog?
  5. Don’t ever tweet anything personal or even of relevance, but do insist on signing up for Twitter horoscopes. Lemme clue you in. Those damned things show up Every. Goddamned. Morning. If you don’t pay attention to them, why do you subject me to them?
  6. Use Twitter for the sole purpose of promoing your book or web site. Trust me, people are smart to this tactic.
  7. And along the same note, tweeting the same information on a daily basis. Your tweets are only going to the people who follow you. The vast majority of your tweets have already been seen. I don’t need to see them five or six times.
  8. Use services such as Twitterfeed to ALWAYS retweet random nonsense from other tweeters. Um, if I wanted to always know what they say, I’ll just follow them, ‘k?
  9. Put the name of people you are replying to at the end of a tweet. All this does is force me into your conversation–which tends to be super disjointed since you’re conversing with forty or fifty people. @dontdothis

/rant

To all of you who don’t do the above, thank you! I enjoy your tweets and look forward to reading more. Did I miss anything?

p.s. If you haven’t found me on Twitter yet, please stop by! @dee_carney